The Matt Payne Website

Freaky Books and Funky Music

The Matt Payne Website

Freaky Books and Funky Music

I'm an author and musician living in Canada.

On this site you'll find info about my books and electronic music. Plus you can read my blog and listen to some tracks.

Absurd Comedy, Surreal Horror, Psychedelic Adventures, Weird Science Fiction, and Mind-Bending Mysteries.
Psychedelic Electronica: Funky Beats and Stoner Grooves.

Music Player:

Guitar Poem
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Funky raw guitar groove from Synthetic Adventure Beats.

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A drum n Bass dialogue from Synthetic Adventure Beats.



Meditation Crystals

Mon, 28 Aug 2017 23:45:56 GMT

In my most recent trip to the Peruvian jungle searching for new plant medicines to assist in my inner space adventures I happened upon a crystal valley guarded by great snakes who slither through non-linear time. After answering their riddles and befriending the youngest of these ancient snakes I was initiated into their guild, whenceupon I slew them and annexed their booty.

Now I'm back in New York with a trunk full of glistening gems, and I've noticed that merely by being in their presence I have been effected by their magical powers. I haven't gained any powers myself, unless you consider peaceful silence and a glorious comfort with my own mind to be magical (and I admit that sometimes I feel like it is). I am slowly descending into a meditative trance, unbothered by my worldly troubles and unwilling to pull myself out of this reverie.

At first my lover was happy with the change in my attitude. I was no longer cutting her down with cruel remarks, as was my wont during my habitual drunken  tirades. And I was content to spend an afternoon indoors, listening to music with her or making love in the afternoon. But then she said I was becoming distant, and slithering on the floor.

"Distant?" I asked. "Slithering? Well maybe, or maybe you're too caught up in your fancy New York lifestyle to see what you really are: an awkward conceptual contraption built upon an ancient lizard-brain. Snort some of these crystals with me, my love, and we will see who sinks and who slithers."

Now we are coiled up together on the couch watching reruns of Game of Thrones and waiting for the pizza delivery gentleman. Snakes don't like pizza, of course. But some snakes are very fond of gentlemen.

More entries at my LiveJournal Blog.



NEW NOVEL: Missing To Mars

2017-11-15 19:10:18

My latest book is available in e-book formats now, on Amazon and Kobo.

Missing to Mars is a science fiction mystery story, rooted in alternate history. It's partly inspired by Graham Hancock's work, exploring the possibility that pre-Egyptian civilization might have been more advanced than we thought, and didn't really die out. This book takes those ideas several steps further into the realm of the fantastic. I love the idea of some special torch of cosmic knowledge being shared and spread in secret.

But the main action is much simpler than that: Paul and his wife Fiona move to Mars, and Fiona promptly goes missing. What's worse than losing your loved ones in such a remote location? Arguably, the thing that took her.

It's available as an e-book, and should soon come out in paperback as well.

Huge thanks to Double Dragon Publishing, who took a chance on this book.

NEW BOOK: The Adventure Poem of Julius Cinnamon

2017-08-22 01:19:48

Another labour of love and hate is finally finished and ready for the light of day.

The Adventure Poem of Julius Cinnamon is a fast-paced, epic adventure about an unstoppable lunatic with world-changing plans. Traitors and rivals try to cannibalize his empire and ruin his plans, so he strikes back with outrageous fury.

It can be a pretty violent book. Some scenes made me uncomfortable to write. The guy is a beast of a man, and beasts aren't always nice. But he's one of my favourite characters and I can't wait to see what readers think of him.

The e-book is available on Smashwords and Amazon. The paperback is ready, and will appear in the Amazon store within a couple days.

New Short Fiction: The Lifeguard published in Depraved Desires 2.

2017-08-04 03:46:09

I wrote a disturbing and offensive short story about a lifeguard who... oversteps his authority and the laws of nature. Apparently the fine folks at Hellbound Books are into that kind of thing because they're publishing it in their collection of erotic horror: Depraved Desires 2. As of August 4, 2017, this collection will be available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats.

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And get mailed hard.

Stuff I might email you:

About Me:

I write weird stories and novels. I like vivid wordplay and far-out adventures. I like to explore subtle ideas, juxtapositions, scary aspects of personal development, and just generally far-out stuff. I like Hard Art, stuff that's upsetting, but also stuff that's just fun and beautiful. That's what's fun for me, and I hope it will be fun for you too. Fun and scary.

Most of my books are independently published. I like the control. I like hiring cover artists and designing the book myself. I have worked with publishers, and I'll do so again, but I'm a very DIY kinda guy and I love the process of giving you something that's completely my own invention.

When I make electronic music I tend to use the rhythm and beat-structure of dance music, while the melodic structure is more influenced by rock, funk, and metal. I've used FruityLoops, Reason, and the powerful (and volatile) suite of music production software in Linux.

I was born in Newfoundland, Canada. I got my degree from St. Thomas University in Fredericton, New Brunswick. I've worked as a line cook, machine operator, web designer, and a bunch of other things.

I also do audio production Psymposia's weekly consciousness-expansion podcast. They're a great organization and you should check them out.

 About this site:

I've "re-vamped" my personal website way too many times. Usually I just want something noisy, jarring, and fun to look at. But I decided I needed something more functional so I built this content-management system in Flask, with Python. Now if I want to update it I'll just change the visuals, but the backend should be solid.

This is the main source for information about my work. Details about my books and music, my publishing history, where to buy my stuff, plus my blog and links to other cool site.

...but it's also a place to just put ridiculous things on the internet. I like internet noise. Glitch art. Broken things. So humour me by exploring it a little bit.

You can drop me a line at info [at] pattmayne [dot] com. I'll probably respond.

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