Life is full of horrible surprises. And if you ever find yourself trapped in a mansion with your friends getting butchered by an unidentified maniac, you'll have no idea how to respond.
This step-by-step how-to guide will make it easy for even the stupidest idiot to manoeuvre through such an unfolding crime, and to deal with the legal process which will inevitably follow.
Part of the "Go Help Yourself" series of self-help books. With this series you get:
Styles & Genres: self-help, satire, mystery
Released: July, 2016
Stories of insanity, horror, and other kinds of fun.
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self-help, satire, mystery
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Stuff I might email you:
FETISHES...hypocrisy/Fabergé eggs (or any jeweled egg)
FAVOURITE WINTER SPORTS...skiing/shoveling
POLITICAL AFFILIATIONS...Radical Chronodyke/Millenarianistic Chronodyke
FAVOURITE PILLS...speed/microdoses of mushrooms/digestive enzymes
RELIGION...at the end of time, time begins, and flows backwards toward the horror of infinitely compressing "big bang" (AKA big crush where we are all one, squeezed together, elbow-to-elbow, really uncomfortable and socially awkward)(this is why we can never know anything, because our minds our backwards, like the stitching on the back of a decorative patch, and the pre-sensory ingredients for consciousness, the responsive living universe, is utterly alien in its proper time direction, and we are alone, and it doesn't even know we exist)
MARITAL STATUS...see "PETS"
PREFERRED TRANSDUCTION PARADIGM...bifurcated oblidisk gyration schema